New Year New Me (Unleash the Winner Within You Part 3)

Chapter Three: The Power of Communication 

As I continued reading Unleash the Winner Within You by Coach Sherry Winn, Chapter Three made me pause in a different way.

I expected lessons on ambition and drive. What I did not expect was to be quietly challenged about something as simple as listening.

This chapter focuses on communication, and one truth stood out immediately. Most of us are not really listening in conversations. We are waiting. Waiting for a pause so we can say what we have already planned in our minds.

The moment I read this, I could think of several times I had done the same thing.

Listening Versus Waiting to Talk

The book shares a simple but powerful story about a man named Joe. He was asked to help with a basic address change, but instead of listening, he kept asking unrelated questions about things like fires and moving trucks.

It sounds almost funny, until you realize how often we do the same thing. We hear words, but miss the message.

This reminds us that communication is not just about hearing. It is about understanding.

Another story that stood out was from the author herself as a basketball coach. She believed she was a strong communicator. She involved her players, asked for their opinions, and gave them a voice.

But during an important game, while trying to explain a strategy, she spoke with intensity and urgency. Afterward, her players could not even explain what she had said.

That moment revealed a powerful truth. Communication is not about what you say. It is about what the other person understands.

What You Avoid Will Grow

The chapter also shares the story of a player who needed honest correction. Instead of addressing the issue early, it was avoided because it felt uncomfortable.

Over time, the situation became worse and eventually turned into a bigger problem that took much longer to resolve.

The lesson here is clear. What you fail to confront does not disappear. It grows.

The 4Cs of Communication

The book introduces a simple framework called the 4Cs of Communication:

Be CONSCIOUS of what you are saying and whether it reflects what you truly mean

Take time to COMPREHEND what others are really saying

Allow people to CHALLENGE your words

Use communication to CREATE the kind of relationships you desire

These steps may seem simple, but they require intentional effort.

Small Words, Big Impact

One small habit that stood out in this chapter is how we use the word but.

When we say something positive and then add but, we often cancel out the encouragement we just gave. Replacing but with and helps keep both truths intact.

It is a small shift, but it can change how people receive your words.

Learning to Truly Listen

It also reminds us that listening goes beyond words. Body language, tone, and expression often reveal more than what is being said.

It also highlights the importance of the kind of questions we ask. Reflective questions help people think and express themselves. Probing questions, on the other hand, can sometimes shift the focus back to us.

True listening builds trust. It shows respect. It makes people feel seen and heard.

Personal Thought

As a bad communicator myself, this chapter wasn't written to make me feel bad. It only reminds me that I am a human, and that there is always room for growth.

Communication is not about being perfect. It is about being intentional. One honest conversation at a time.

What This Means for Teens

Communication is a big part of your daily life, whether at school, at home, or with friends. This chapter reminds you that listening is just as important as speaking.

When you learn to truly listen, ask better questions, and express yourself clearly, you build stronger relationships and avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.

Growth in communication starts with small changes, and those changes can make a big difference.

Reflection and Call to Action

1. Think about your last few conversations. Were you truly listening or just waiting for your turn to speak?

2. Is there a conversation you have been avoiding because it feels uncomfortable?

3. What is one way you can improve how you listen to others this week?

4. Pay attention to how you give feedback. Can you replace “but” with “and” in your next conversation?

5. Observe someone closely during a conversation. What does their body language tell you beyond their words?